Englischer Artikel < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 19:26 Mo 19.06.2006 | | Autor: | Timo17 |
| Aufgabe | | Bitte um Korrektur |
Hallo,
ich habe mal einen Artikel zum Thema "Persons of the year" geschrieben und es wäre sehr nett von euch wenn ihr euch den einmal durchlesen würdet und ihn dann korrigieren würdet.Zum Einen auf sprachliche Richtigkeit und zum anderen ist er für meine Begriffe sehr lang und vielleicht könnt ihr mir sagen was ich kürzen bzw. weglassen sollte.
Hier mein Artikel:
The world's richest man Bill Gates, his wife, Melinda, and rock star Bono have been named "Persons of the Year" by America's Time magazine.
Time said the US couple and the Irish singer had been chosen for their charitable work and efforts to reduce global poverty and improve health.
Since 1927, TIME Magazine has chosen a man, woman, or idea that "for better or worse, has most influenced events in the preceding year." TIME's list is not an study of the past, the list gives a viewpoint of what was important during each year. Last year, the Person of the Year distinction went to President George Bush.
Managing Editor James Kelly said the three had been chosen as the people most effective at finding ways to eradicate such calamities as malaria in Africa, HIV and AIDS and the grinding poverty that kills 8 million people a year.
The magazine said 2005 was a year of extraordinary charity in which people donated record amounts in response to extreme natural disasters, from the tsunami in South Asia to Hurricane Katrina.
Natural disasters are terrible things, but there is a different kind of ongoing calamity in poverty and nobody is doing a better job in addressing it in different ways than Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono, said Jim Kelly, Time's managing editor.
Musician Bono,best known as the front-man of rock group U2, was one of the organizers behind this year's Live 8 concerts in nine cities worldwide.
Bono is a co-founder of the DATA (Debt, AIDS, Trade, Africa) organization, which fights poverty and HIV in the developing world.
The work that I do with DATA and the One Campaign has been helped by what Bill and Melinda do," he said. "This can be a generation in which we eradicate extreme poverty."
In January, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation committed $750 million to improving access to child immunizations,
It praised the US couple for building the world's largest charity - the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation - and for "giving more money away faster than anyone ever has" in 2005.
The Gates' charitable work is typically done through The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, which was founded in 2000. It's run by Bill Gates father, William H. Gates Sr., and Patty Stonesifer, and has an endowment of about $29 billion, according to the foundation's Web site. The foundation has saved at least 700,000 lives in poor countries by investing in vaccination programs, has donated computers and Internet access to 11,000 libraries and has sponsored the biggest scholarship fund in history, the magazine said.
Of the roughly $10 billion it has granted since inception about $5.8 billion has gone on global health initiatives such as battling AIDS or malaria and about $2.6 billion has gone to education-based initiatives. Spending on projects in the Pacific Northwest has totaled around $570 million.
The Gates' welcomed the award in a statement
But we also believe that everyone has something to offer -- time, money, or energy -- that can help others," they said in the statement.
And by that we mean stupid, daft poverty where 3,000 kids are dying every day of a mosquito bite in Africa. Malaria. We can fix stuff like that."
In a separate article in the same edition, Time named former presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush as Partners of the Year for their work on behalf of the victims of the tsunami and Hurricane Katrina.
Vielen Dank im Voraus.
MfG
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> Bitte um Korrektur
> Hallo,
hallo !
>
> ich habe mal einen Artikel zum Thema "Persons of the year"
> geschrieben und es wäre sehr nett von euch wenn ihr euch
> den einmal durchlesen würdet und ihn dann korrigieren
> würdet.Zum Einen auf sprachliche Richtigkeit und zum
> anderen ist er für meine Begriffe sehr lang und vielleicht
> könnt ihr mir sagen was ich kürzen bzw. weglassen sollte.
>
du hast leider nur einen sehr kurzen bearbeitúngszeitraum von 24 h eingestellt, sodass ich dir nur eine schnelle antwort schreiben kann:
> Hier mein Artikel:
>
> The world's richest man, Bill Gates, his wife Melinda, and
> rock star Bono have been called "Persons of the Year" by
> America's Time magazine.
>
> Time said the US couple and the Irish singer had been
> chosen for their charitable work and efforts to reduce
> global poverty and improve health.
> Since 1927, TIME Magazine has chosen a man, woman, or idea
> that "for better or worse, has most influenced events in
> the preceding year." TIME's list is not a study of the
> past, the list gives a viewpoint of the important things
> during each year. Last year, the Person of the Year
> distinction went to President George Bush.
> Managing Editor James Kelly said the three had been chosen
> as the people most effective at finding ways to eradicate
> such calamities as malaria in Africa, HIV and AIDS and the
> grinding poverty that kills 8 million people a year.
> The magazine said 2005 was a year of extraordinary charity
> in which people donated record amounts in response to
> extreme natural disasters, from (the) tsunami in South Asia
> to Hurricane Katrina.
> Natural disasters are terrible things, but there is a
> different kind of ongoing calamity in poverty and nobody is
> doing a better job in addressing it in different ways than
> Bill and Melinda Gates and Bono, said Jim Kelly, Time's
> managing editor.
> Musician Bono,best known as the front-man of rock group U2,
> was one of the organizers behind this year's Live 8
> concerts in nine cities worldwide.
> Bono is a co-founder of the DATA (Debt, AIDS, Trade,
> Africa) organization, which fights against poverty and HIV in the
> developing world.
> The work that I do with DATA and the One Campaign has been
> helped by what Bill and Melinda do," he said. "This can be
> a generation in which we eradicate extreme poverty."
> In January, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation
> committed $750 million to improving access to child
> immunizations.
> It praised the US couple for building the world's largest
> charity - the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation - and for
> "giving more money away faster than anyone ever has" in
> 2005.
> The Gates' charitable work is typically done through "The
> Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation", which was founded in
> 2000. It's run (or: it is led?) by Bill Gates father, William H. Gates Sr.,
> and Patty Stonesifer, and has an endowment of nearly $29
> billion, according to the foundation's Web site. The
> foundation has saved at least 700,000 lives in poor
> countries by investing in vaccination programs, has donated
> computers and Internet access to 11,000 libraries and has
> sponsored the biggest scholarship fund in history, the
> magazine said.
> Of the roughly [mm]10 billion it has granted since inception about [/mm]5.8 billion has gone on global health initiatives such as
> battling AIDS or malaria and about [mm]2.6 billion has gone to education-based initiatives. Spending on projects in the Pacific Northwest has totaled around [/mm]570
> million.
> The Gates' welcomed the award in a statement
> But we also believe that everyone has something to offer
> -- time, money, or energy -- that can help others," they
> said in the statement.
> And by that we mean stupid, daft poverty where 3,000 kids
> are dying every day of a mosquito bite in Africa. Malaria.
> We can fix stuff like that."
> In a separate article in the same edition, Time named
> former presidents Bill Clinton and George H.W. Bush as
> Partners of the Year for their work on behalf of the
> victims of the tsunami and Hurricane Katrina.
ich habe hier und da mal ein Wort ausgetauscht...allerdings finde ich den sehr gut gelungen...um die übersicht nicht zu verlieren, könntest du ein paar zahlen rauslassen, das macht den text flüssgier und "leichter"...jedoch nur wenn sie nicht relevant für das thema und den inhalt sind!
(und das nächste mal: längerer zeitraum  )
>
>
> Vielen Dank im Voraus. Bitte
Mfg, Informacao
>
> MfG
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