Korrektur eines Textteils < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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| Aufgabe | | Wir sollen ein Referat über die typischen Vorurteile von Männern und Frauen schreiben. Dabei sollen wir auch das Buch wimen are from venus men are from mars verwenden und natürlich auch das internet. Dieser Text ist mein Teil. Ich trage den noch mit meiner Partnerin zusammen. Sie macht auch einen Teil. |
The part of my introduction
The planet of the wimen, the venus, was looking very different: it was full of parks, biotops, malls and nice restaurants. One reason for it is the point that wimen always try to have communications with other wimen or men. Every Venus was a strange psycotherapist. Like Ruthie in Coming Of Age who always knows everything about the most intimate secrets. Everything is obviously: to help other wimen in tricky situations and share their feelings. And it´s very important for us because without these obviousility we would have been like the men from mars, the cold and uninteresting ones.
Medicine background
The normal man is about 1,75m high and has a weight of 73,5 kg. The scope of his breasts is about 98,5cm and the scope of his tail is about 80,64cm.
The normal women is about 1,60m high and has a weight of 61,2kg. The scope of her breasts is about 90,1cm, the scope of her tail is about 74,3 and the scope of her hips about 96,5cm.
Men are more agressive than wimen because of the Testosteron in their bodies. Wimen try to sollute those moments with words.
Wimen are able to have a longer live than men. They can reach the age of 78 years. Men only an age of 71,5 years. Men have huge shoulders, long arms, legs and heavier bones than wimen. But wimen have wider hips. Men have their fat near the stomach, the beer belly. Wimen have their fat near the stomach, the hips and the bottom.
Men brains are heavier than wimen brains. But wimen brains have better connections and a better blood- support. At/ In the end wimen cry more than men. Exactly five times more in a period of 19 until 22 o´clock in the evening.
General differences
In general there are some differences between wimen and men. Wimen are speaking and talking relationship- oriented. Bacause their whole live is based on feelings. Men are always talking and thinking material and theoretical. They are looking for theirselves, like 100.000 years ago, for example which advantages they could have in a tricky situation with the opposite sex.
If wimen have problems they wants, that their partner understand their feelings. Wimen expect that men are able to feel the same, in such a situation which I will tell you later on. Wimen hates that men always wants to sollute emotional problems with clever sentences or advices like: everything will become good or nobody can create the world in one day.
Men always wants to be alone if they have problems. Maybe just because they aren´t shure how to react right. They might think it´s wrong to show emotional feeling in front of the weaker sex. Yes, the fear is huge that the girlfriend could laugh about the weakness of a strong man who isn´t allowed to be sad.
Another difference are words with two or more different meanings. For example there are two special words for wimen: yes means no and I have headaches means no darling today I don´t wanna have sex.
Indruction before the reproaches
We can devide these reproaches in three groups:
Reproaches agianst wimen:
-domesticity
-the breeding of a man
-emotional public
Reproaches against men:
-independence
-missing acknoledgement
-emotional barriers
Reproaches against men
Independence
We always say or think that men can´t talk with us because they have their thoughts in a stadium or a car. Or that they haven´t any time for the relationship, a romantic dinner or a beautiful feet massage. If we would suggest it , our partners would be shocked. Probably everybody and just because they have to massage our little, nice and soft feets. Many wimen also say that men aren´t able to be responsive for anything. Especially for the kids and the household.
The other reproach is the missing acknoledgement. Afer a day full of problems with our boss we need this acknoledgement. But when we try to obtain it, our partner makes a disunderstanding face. Despite of our feelings many men are so cheeky to asks us for a cold beer or a nice meal. They don´t listen if we try to tell them that we haven´t found the favourite shoes which is very tragedy and hard work. Maybe sometimes harder than the real job.
Men never give any promises or attention. For example if you ask them for their truth opinion in a shop full of pretty dresses. Men always wants to leave these damn place, created by men hated demons to make them depressive.
The last reproach are the emotional barriers. They can´t feel anything else than to be burn out or drunked.
But the most impotant point is the sex drive. Nobody knows if it´s true or not. Sometimes we might think that we only have a nice, muscular and strong boyfriend just because he wants to have sex. It doesen´t matter if you have stress with your friends or family. He trys to make it everywhere and at every time. And if you don´t want they call you as an unerotic and boring woman.
I think some of us might have realized that they are many way of seeing a person: a man or a woman.
The part of my net result
These reproaches are wrong. Maybe some things are true. But today we haven´t or shouldn´t have a man who behaves himself like the men 100 years ago. And men who are still like them haven´t earned it to have a girlfirend. Today we have men who don´t fulfil these prejudices. For example my father and I think many fathers of you too help in the household and appreciate his women, wife or girlfriend. They don´t see her efforts as an obviousility.(selbstverständlichkeit?)
Das sage ich ganz am Anfang des Referates
Almost everything what we will talk about isn´t our personal or private opinion. Only the net result. We have found these prejudices in the internet and the book wimen are form venus and men are from mars!
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| Status: |
(Antwort) fertig  | | Datum: | 14:49 Mo 24.03.2008 | | Autor: | Amy1988 |
> The planet of the wimen women, the venus, was looking very
> different from what?!: it was full of parks, biotops, malls and nice
> restaurants. One reason for it/this is the point that wimenwomen
> always try to have communications with other wimen or men.
> Every Venus wasis a strange psycotherapist. Like Ruthie in
> "Coming Of Age" who always knows everything about the most
> intimate secrets. Everything is obviously/quiet evident: (der folgende Satzanfang ist nicht wirklich gelungen...du solltest erwähnen, was genau so oofensichtlich ist...vielleicht mit einem Satz wie "The concept of this world ist quiet obvious")
to help other
> wimen in tricky situations and share their feelings with them. (And
> it´s very important for us because without these
> obviousility we) This obviousility is very important to them because otherwise they would (have been) be like the men from mars, the
> cold and uninteresting ones(beings?!).
>
> Medicine background
> The/A normal man is about 1,75m high and has a weight of
> 73,5 kg. The scope of his breasts is about 98,5cm and the
> scope of his tail is about 80,64cm.
> The/A normal womenwoman is about 1,60m high and has a weight of
> 61,2kg. The scope of her breasts is about 90,1cm, the scope
> of her tail is about 74,3 and the scope of her hips about
> 96,5cm.
> Men are more aggressive than wimenwomen because of the hormone
> testosterone (in their bodies). WimenWomen try to sollute those (umschreibe those hier lieber, denn sonst weiß man nciht, auf was du dich genau beziehst!)
> moments with words.
> WimenWomen are able to (have a) live longer (livelife) than men. They can
> reach the age of 78 years. Men can only reach an age of 71,5 years.
> However (klingt besser und verbindet deine Sätze!)men have huger shoulders, longer arms and legs and heavier bones
> than wimenwomen. But wimenwomen have wider hips. Men have their fat
> near the stomach, the beer belly. WimenWomen have their fat near
> the stomach, the hips and the bottom. (Diese beiden Sätze geben inhaltlich nciht so viel Sinn)
> Men brainsThe brain of a man is heavier than that of a wimen brainswoman. But wimen a woman's brain
> has better connections and a better blood- support. At/ In
> the end [s]wimen[/S] cry more than men. Exactly five times more in
> a period of 19 until 22 o´clock in the evening.
>
> General differences
> In general there are some/a lot of differences between wimenwomen and
> men. Wimen are speaking and talkingspeak and talk relationship- orriented.
> Bacause their whole livelife is based on feelings. Men are
> always talking and thinking materially and theoretically. They
> are looking fortake care of theirselvesthemselves, like 100.000 years ago, for
> example which advantages for example that they could have in a tricky
> situation with the opposite sexsex with the opposite in a tricky situation.(wolltest du das damit sagen? es ist mir nicht so klar geworden, weil die satzordnung doch ein wenig durcheinander war...)
> If wimenwomen have problems they wants, that their partners to
> understand their feelings. Wimen expect that men are able
> to feel the same way, in such a situation which I will tell you
> later on. Wimen hates the fact that men always wants to sollute
> emotional problems with clever sentences or advices like:
> "Everything will become good or nobody can create the world
> in one day."
> Men always wants to be alone if they have problems. Maybe
> just because they aren´t shuresure how to react right(besser: maybe because they do not know...). They
> might think it´s wrong to show emotional feeling in front
> of the "weaker" sex. Yes, the fear is huge that the
> girlfriend could laugh about the weakness of a strong man
> who isn´t allowed to be sad.
> Another (difference)problem areis posed by words with two or more different
> meanings. For example there are two special words for
> wimen: "yes" means "no" and "I have headaches" means "no darling
> today I don´t wanna have sex today".
>
> Indruction before the reproaches
> We can devide these reproaches in three groups:
>
> Reproaches agianst(wenn dann against, aber hier besser "concerning") wimenwomen:
> -domesticity
> -the breeding of a man
> -emotional public
>
>
> Reproaches against(concerning) men:
> -independence
> -missing acknoledgement
> -emotional barriers
>
> Reproaches against men
>
> Independence
> We always say or think that men can´t talk with us because
> they (have their thoughts in a stadium or a car) are preoccupied. Or that
> they haven´t anygot enough time for the/a relationship, a romantic
> dinner or a beautiful feet massage(was meinst du damit?). If we would suggest itraise that issue
> , our partners would be shocked. (Probably everybody and
> just because they have to massage our little, nice and soft
> feets) Der Satz ist mir ein bisschen unverständlich?!. Many wimenwomen also say that men aren´t able to be
> responsive for anythingtake responsibility. Especially for the kids and the
> household.
> The other reproach is the missing acknoledgement. Afer a
> day full of problems with our boss we/women? need (this)an
> acknoledgement. But when we try to obtain(call for) it, (our partner
> makes a disunderstanding face)we meet with complete incomprehension.
(Despite of our feelings) Though we show our feelings and unhappyness many
> men are so cheeky to asks us for a cold beer or a nice
> meal. They don´t listen if we try to tell them that we
> haven´t found the/our favourite shoes (which is very tragedy and
> hard work) even though we worked very hard ti find it. Maybe sometimes harder than (the real) men work at their job.
> In addition (bessere Verbindung der Sätze  )men never give any promises or attention. For example if
> you ask them for their truthtrue opinion in a shop full of
> pretty dresses. Men always wants to leave these damn place,
> created by men hated demons to make them depressive(den Teil verstehe ich wieder nicht...created by men bezieht sich sicher auf den shop und der andere Teil?! Was willst du damit sagen?).
> The last reproach concerning men are the emotional barriers. They can´t
> feel anything else than to be burned out or drunkedn.
> But the most impotant point is the sex drive. Nobody knows
> ifwheather it´s true or not. Sometimes we might think that we onlyjust
> have a nice, muscular and strong boyfriend just becausewhen he
> wants to have sex. It doesen´tdoesn't matter [s]if[/]wheater you have stress are in trouble
> with your friends or family. He trys to make it everywhere
> and at everyany time. And if you don´t want they call you as
> an unerotic and boring woman.
>
> I think some of us might have realized that theythere are many
> ways of seeing/judging a person: a man or a woman.
>
> The part of my net result
> These reproaches are wrong. Maybe some things are true.
> But today we haven´t or shouldn´t have a man who behaves
> himself like the men 100 years ago. And men who are still
> like them haven´t earned itare not worth to have a girlfirend. Today we
> havethere are men who don´t fulfil these prejudices. For example my
> father and I think many fathers of you too help in the
> household and appreciate histheir women, wifes or girlfriends.
> They don´t see her efforts as an
> obviousility/implicitness.(selbstverständlichkeit?)
>
> Das sage ich ganz am Anfang des Referates
> Almost everything what we will talk about isn´t our
> personal (or private) opinion. It is only the net result. We have
> found these prejudices in the internet and the book wimen "Women
> are form venus and men are from mars!"
>
>
So, ich hoffe, das hilft dir ein bisschen weiter 
Du solltest bei den Pluraformen von "woman" aufpassen, da waren einige Fehler drin!
Auch sonst hast du viele Singular-Plural-Fehler und Zeitsprünge!
Vielleicht kannst du einfach beim nächsten Mal mehzr drauf achten.
Ich will dich damit nicht kritisieren, sondern dir lediglich Tipps geben
Ansonsten sieht das aber wirklich gut aus!!
LG, Amy
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