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Forum "Korrekturlesen" - References to the Dream
References to the Dream < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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References to the Dream: Korrektur
Status: (Frage) beantwortet Status 
Datum: 16:49 Fr 05.03.2010
Autor: Lila131

Ich habe diese Frage in keinem Forum auf anderen Internetseiten gestellt.
Hallo!
Ich brauche wieder einmal Hilfe für meine Facharbeit! *da sich meine Englischkentnisse noch nicht gebessert haben* (Ich hoffe, dass es ok ist, dass ich auch noch meinen zweiten Text hier poste!)

Der Text ist etwas länger.......

The inauguration speech of Barack Obama calls on the American citizens, its meant for America as a nation. Obama speaks about many current topics. He begins with the introduction and talks about the crisis as a whole. Afterward he looks back on the history of America and the American Dream, which is very important. Consequential important are the big topics “state of economic”, “technology”, “the use of alternative resources and the reformation of school and collages”. The government itself also plays a important role. Obama answers  the question whether the government is to big or to small. In the second half of his speech he speaks to a different audition: Obama applies to the Muslim world , the poor nation and China.

In the following I will analyze the use and the meaning of the American Dream  in the speech:

At the beginning Obama searches for the attention of his listeners, his “fellow citizen”(l.1). The following introduction appears in every inauguration speech: Obama thanks for the trust of his voters and for President Bush´s service. The first time Obama makes a connection to the Dream is through the sacrifices of his,of America´s, ancestors. The Dream is not mentioned by name, but the  reason of its grand.

Obama appeals not to forget history and their ideals, because these are the reasons why “America has carried on” (l.7). The Dream is becoming a pillar of America. Never was it doubt, “[s]o it has been[and s]o it must be with this generation of Americans.” (l.10) Further more Obama points out that because of the Dream the history was good, but the lifestyle, which stands behind this history, diminished to just an option , people have to “ choose our better history” (l. 27). Up until now the Dream is not used by name, it´s described by synonyms like “ precious gift” (l.28) or “ noble idea”. A gift is given by someone, which ought to be “employed “. Through the adjective noble the Dream requires respect and becomes something that claims a higher Position than other ideas. It´s old and was “ passed on from generation to generation” (l.28). The dream is like a tradition, which is wise to follow.

While Obama only talked about the dream itself, he continues now to talk about the principle of the Dream: “The God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.” (l.28 sqq). He deliberately establishes a connection between the Dream and  religion, because 51.3%1 of the Americans are protestants and Obama wants to reach  most of the people with his speech. On the other side, since so many people in America belief in god, the chance people decide to life after the dream increases  much because  it´s holy now and on top of that it´s a promise.

“[T]he greatness of [the] nation” (l.31) is connected to it,just like the reaffirming of this greatness and the comprehension “that greatness is never a given”. Obama wants to expose  that the Dream is never a given and he wants to make an appeal to life after the Dream again. This won´t be easy ,“ [i]t must be earned “. Even more he says their journey “ has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less” (l.32).Here Obama uses the Dream's motive “from hart work to success”  to hint at the long way Americas has to go these days. Once more he stresses that it “ has not been the path for the faint-hearted - for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame”(l.32 sqq), which appeals for the Dream as well. The more “it has been the the risk-takers” (l.34); only those who risk something and those who are able to make something new. Obama wants to motivate people through the Dream to work  but reminds them at the same time to believe in a change and to be open-minded for risks. By stressing “[f]or us” (l.37) and the mention of the ancestor who gave up everything for up coming generations the Dream applies pressure. Now, in lines 37 up to 41, Obama summarizes what his ancestors already have done  for the American people.

For the first time he also mixes political aspects , the battles of “ Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn” (l.41), into the Dream. The repetition of the sacrifices and the struggle maybe is to remind people how good their live is now and let them see America like “ these men and women” (l.42) did, “ America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction” (l.43 sq).Those words are exactly the meaning of the American Dream.  If it becomes true people won´t differ anymore in birth or wealth , this pledge encourage the people once more especially in nowadays life situation.

After talking so long about the struggles in the past Obama describes in the next three Paragraphs his plans for the future in connection with Americas  today's situation. The mood of the people is down. To bring back the American ambitions he reminds again “what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.“ (l.59 sqq). Indirectly Obama regrets the loss of unity and courage.

In the next two paragraphs Obama talks about current  questions like regaining trust between people and government. Once again the dream is used to connect past and future: The Dream still remain, but now America has to decide if they accept him and they say:”[W]e reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals.” (l.76). The mere Dream changed into the ideal of a hole country, the reason for such a change comes along. In Obama opinion the consequences “ still light the world”(l.78sq). Furthermore the Dream was the reason for “ draft[ing] a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man” (l.78 sq), exaggerating

Obama believes the Dream has been connected to America right from the beginning and even now. The result is to believe in the Dream nowadays. America will not only believe in the Dream, they are going to fulfill their role as well as they did in history, they´re “ ready to lead once more”(l.82).At the beginning of Americas history as a state it opened her gates for everyone. Her duty was to guide an defend their people. This leadership was the symbol of America´s power and justice . Obama wants to bring America back to this point. He declares the Dream´s values, “ hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism” (l.126 sqq), to be the source of their success. He panders to “return to these truths”(l.127 sqq).

Obama uses the Dream in his speech to build up courage and form a new “we- feeling”. Americans should be proud again to live in America.

Danke, Danke, Danke, vielmals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


        
Bezug
References to the Dream: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 11:53 Sa 06.03.2010
Autor: mmhkt

Guten Tag,

> Der Text ist etwas länger.......

So isses!
Ich mache mal den Anfang, wenn der Kuchen mal angeknabbert ist, wird sich schon noch jemand finden, der daran weiter nagt...

> The inauguration speech of Barack Obama calls on the
> American citizens, it's meant for America as a nation.

Sagt man "speech of B. O." - oder doch eher "B. O's speech?"

> Obama speaks about many current topics. He begins with the
> introduction and talks about the crisis as a whole.
> Afterwards he looks back on the history of America and the
> American Dream, which is very important. Consequential (müsste das nicht als Adverb stehen, mit "-ly" am Ende?)
> important are the big topics “state of economic”,
> “technology”, “the use of alternative resources and
> the reformation of school and colleges”. (wenn die colleges in der Mehrzahl da stehen, dann doch auch die Schulen, oder?) The government
> itself also plays an important role. Obama answers  the
> question whether the government is to big or to small. In
> the second half of his speech he speaks to a different
> audition (mir scheint, Du meinst ein anderes Publikum/andere Zielgruppe, dann doch eher "audience"): Obama applies to the Muslim world , the poor
> nations and China.
>  
> In the following I will analyze (hier kommt es darauf an, ob Du amerikanisches oder britisches Englisch schreiben willst. Falls am., dann ist "analyze" korrekt, falls britisch, dann mit "s" hinter dem "y") the use and the meaning of
> the American Dream in the speech:
>  
> At the beginning Obama searches for the attention of his
> listeners, his “fellow citizen”(l.1). The following
> introduction appears in every inauguration speech: Obama
> thanks for the trust of his voters and for President
> Bush´s service. The first time Obama makes a connection to
> the Dream is through the sacrifices of his, of America´s,
> ancestors. The Dream is not mentioned by name, but the  
> reason of its grand.

Weil ich nicht soviel Zeit habe, wars das für den Moment.

Schönen Gruß
mmhkt

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References to the Dream: Antwort
Status: (Antwort) fertig Status 
Datum: 15:50 Sa 06.03.2010
Autor: metalschulze

Ich knabbere....
> At the beginning Obama searches for the attention of his
> listeners, his “fellow citizen”(l.1). The following
> introduction appears in every inauguration speech: Obama
> thanks for the trust of his voters and for President
> Bush´s service. The first time Obama makes a connection to
> the Dream is through the sacrifices of his,of America´s,
> ancestors. The Dream is not mentioned by name, but the  
> reason of its grand.

grand ist ein Adjektiv mit "its" als Besitzform passt das nicht. Ich weiss nicht genau was du ausdrücken willst vielleicht meinst du greatness?

>  
> Obama appeals not to forget history and their ideals,
> because these are the reasons why “America has carried
> on” (l.7). The Dream is becoming a pillar of America.
> Never was it in doubt, “so it has been and so it must be
> with this generation of Americans.” (l.10) Further more
> Obama points out that because of the Dream the history was
> good, but the lifestyle, which stands behind this history
> is diminished to just an option , people have to “ choose
> our better history” (l. 27). Up until now the Dream is
> not used by name, it´s described by synonyms like “

Ich würde ja in Facharbeiten die etwas förmlichere Form it is bevorzugen;-)
>precious gift” (l.28) or “ noble idea”. A gift is
>given by someone, which ought to be “employed “.
so wie das hier steht bezieht sich "which" auf someone (was dann natürlich who heissen müsste) besser A gift is something given which ought...

> Through the adjective noble the Dream requires respect and
> becomes something that claims a higher Position than other
> ideas. It´s old and was “ passed on from generation to
> generation” (l.28). The dream is like a tradition, which
> is wise to follow.
>
> While Obama only talked about the dream itself, he

Die ganze Zeit hast du im present geschrieben, warum jetzt past?

> now continues now to talk about the principle of the >Dream:

>“The God-given promise that all are equal, all are free,

> and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of
> happiness.” (l.28 sqq). He deliberately establishes a
> connection between the Dream and  religion, because 51.3%1
> of the Americans are protestants and Obama wants to reach  
> most of the people with his speech. On the other side,
> since so many people in America belief in god, the chance
> people decide to life after the dream increases  by much
> because  it´s holy now and on top of that it´s a promise.
>
> “The greatness of the nation” (l.31) is connected
> to it,just like the reaffirming reaffirmation of this >greatness and the
> comprehension “that greatness is never a given”. Obama
> wants to expose the fact? that the Dream is never a given >and he

>wants to make an appeal to lifve after the Dream again. >This

> won´t be easy ,“ it must be earned “. Even more he says
> their journey “ has never been one of short-cuts or
> settling for less” (l.32).Here Obama uses the Dream's
> motive “from hartd work to success”  to hint at the long
> way Americas has to go these days. Once more he stresses
> the fact that it “ has not been the path for the faint-hearted -
> for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the
> pleasures of riches and fame”(l.32 sqq), which appeals
> for the Dream as well. The more “it has been the the
> risk-takers” (l.34); only those who risk something and
> those who are able to make something new. Obama wants to
> motivate people through the Dream to work  but reminds them
> at the same time to believe in a change and to be
> open-minded for risks. By stressing “for us” (l.37)
> and the mention of the ancestor who gave up everything for
> up coming generations the Dream applies pressure. Now, in
> lines 37 up to 41, Obama summarizes what his ancestors
> already have done  for the American people.

>

> For the first time he also mixes political aspects , the
> battles of “ Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe
> Sahn” (l.41), into the Dream. The repetition of the
> sacrifices and the struggle maybe is to remind people how
> good their livfe is now and let them see America like “
> these men and women” (l.42) did, “ America as is  
> bigger
> than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all
> the differences of birth or wealth or faction” (l.43
> sq).Those words are exactly the meaning of the American
> Dream.  If it becomes true people won´t differ anymore in
> birth or wealth , this pledge encourages the people once
> more especially in nowadays life situation.
>
> After talking so long about the struggles in the past Obama
> describes in the next three Paragraphs his plans for the
> future in connection with Americas  today's situation. The
> mood of the people is down. To bring back the American
> ambitions he reminds again of “what this country has already
> done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination
> is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.“
> (l.59 sqq). Indirectly Obama regrets the loss of unity and
> courage.

>

> In the next two paragraphs Obama talks about current  
> questions like regaining trust between people and
> government. Once again the dream is used to connect past
> and future: The Dream still remains, but now America has to
> decide if they accept him and they say:”We reject as
> false the choice between our safety and our ideals.”
> (l.76). The mere Dream changed into the ideal of a whole
> country, the reason for such a change comes along. In >Obamas
> opinion the consequences “ still light the
> world”(l.78sq). Furthermore the Dream was the reason for
> “ drafting a charter to assure the rule of law and the
> rights of man” (l.78 sq), exaggerating
> Obama believes the Dream has been connected to America
> right from the beginning and even now. The result is to
> believe in the Dream nowadays. America will not only
> believe in the Dream, they are it is going to fulfill >their its role
> as well as they did in history, they´re “ ready to lead
> once more”(l.82).At the beginning of Americas history as
> a state it opened her its gates for everyone. Her duty >was to

du solltest dich mal für ein Pronomen entscheiden! it opened her gates..
das geht ja mal gar nicht --> es öffnete ihre Tore? it oder she ich würde bei it bleiben

> guide an defend their people. This leadership was the
> symbol of Americas power and justice . Obama wants to
> bring America back to this point. He declares the Dream´s
> values, “ hard work and honesty, courage and fair play,
> tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism” (l.126
> sqq), to be the source of their success. He panders to
> “return to these truths”(l.127 sqq).
>
> Obama uses the Dream in his speech to build up courage and
> form a new “we- feeling”. Americans should be proud
> again to live in America.
>
> Danke, Danke, Danke, vielmals!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>
Der Text hatte irgendwie viel weniger Fehler als der andere, du machst Fortschritte :-)
Gruß Christian

Bezug
                
Bezug
References to the Dream: Danke
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 19:38 Sa 06.03.2010
Autor: Lila131

Lieber metalschulze, lieber mmhkt!

Ich danke euch beiden vielmals für eure Hilfe!

@metalschulze: Leider variiert  meine Fehleranzahl von Text zu Text  TTvTT.......

Bezug
                
Bezug
References to the Dream: Mitteilung
Status: (Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig Status 
Datum: 22:59 Sa 06.03.2010
Autor: mmhkt

Guten Abend,
mir sind noch ein paar Krümel aufgefallen...

> Ich knabbere....
>  > At the beginning Obama searches for the attention of his

> > listeners, his “fellow citizen”(l.1). The following
> > introduction appears in every inauguration speech: Obama
> > thanks for the trust of his voters and for President
> > Bush´s service. The first time Obama makes a connection to
> > the Dream is through the sacrifices of his, of America´s,
> > ancestors. The Dream is not mentioned by name, but the  
> > reason of its grand.
> grand ist ein Adjektiv mit "its" als Besitzform passt das
> nicht. Ich weiss nicht genau was du ausdrücken willst
> vielleicht meinst du greatness?

>  >  
> > Obama appeals not to forget history and their ideals,
> > because these are the reasons why “America has carried
> > on” (l.7). The Dream is becoming a pillar of America.
> > Never was it in doubt, “so it has been and so it must be
>  > with this generation of Americans.” (l.10) Further

> more (zusammen: furthermore)
> > Obama points out that because of the Dream the history was
> > good, but the lifestyle, which stands behind this history
>  > is diminished to just an option , people have to “

> choose
>  > our better history” (l. 27). Up until now the Dream is

> > not used by name, it´s described by synonyms like “
> Ich würde ja in Facharbeiten die etwas förmlichere Form
> it is bevorzugen;-)
>  >precious gift” (l.28) or “ noble idea”. A gift is
> >given by someone, which ought to be “employed “.
> so wie das hier steht bezieht sich "which" auf someone (was
> dann natürlich who heissen müsste) besser A gift is
> something given which ought...
>  > Through the adjective noble the Dream requires respect

> and
>  > becomes something that claims a higher position than

> other
> > ideas. It´s old and was “ passed on from generation to
> > generation” (l.28). The dream is like a tradition, which
> > is wise to follow.
> >
> > While Obama only talked about the dream itself, he
> Die ganze Zeit hast du im present geschrieben, warum jetzt
> past?
>  > now continues now to talk about the principle of the

> >Dream:
> >“The God-given promise that all are equal, all are free,
> > and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of
> > happiness.” (l.28 sqq). He deliberately establishes a
> > connection between the Dream and  religion, because 51.3%1
> > of the Americans are protestants and Obama wants to reach  
> > most of the people with his speech. On the other side,
> > since so many people in America belief (belief = Glaube, hier müsste wohl "believe" = glauben verwendet werden) in God, the chance
> > people decide to live after the dream increases  by much
> > because  it´s holy now and on top of that it´s a promise.
> >
> > “The greatness of the nation” (l.31) is connected
> > to it,just like the reaffirming reaffirmation of this
> >greatness and the
> > comprehension “that greatness is never a given”. Obama
> > wants to expose the fact? that the Dream is never a given
> >and he
> >wants to make an appeal to lifve after the Dream again.
> >This
> > won´t be easy ,“ it must be earned “. Even more he
> says
> > their journey “ has never been one of short-cuts or
> > settling for less” (l.32).Here Obama uses the Dream's
> > motive “from hartd work to success”  to hint at the
> long
> > way Americas has to go these days. Once more he stresses
>  > the fact that it “ has not been the path for the

> faint-hearted -
> > for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the
> > pleasures of riches and fame”(l.32 sqq), which appeals
> > for the Dream as well. The more “it has been the the
> > risk-takers” (l.34); only those who risk something and
> > those who are able to make something new. Obama wants to
> > motivate people through the Dream to work  but reminds
> them
>  > at the same time to believe in a change and to be

> > open-minded for risks. By stressing “for us” (l.37)
>  > and the mention of the ancestor who gave up everything

> for
> > up coming ("upcoming" im Sinne von "kommende" Generationen ginge schon, dann aber zusammenschreiben) generations the Dream applies pressure. Now, in
>  > lines 37 up to 41, Obama summarizes what his ancestors

>  > already have done  for the American people.

> >
>  > For the first time he also mixes political aspects , the

> > battles of “ Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe
> > Sahn” (l.41), into the Dream. The repetition of the
> > sacrifices and the struggle maybe is to remind people how
>  > good their livfe is now and let them see America like

> “
> > these men and women” (l.42) did, “ America as is  
> > bigger
> > than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all
> > the differences of birth or wealth or faction” (l.43
> > sq).Those words are exactly the meaning of the American
> > Dream.  If it becomes true people won´t differ anymore in
> > birth or wealth , this pledge encourages the people once
> > more especially in nowadays life situation.
> >
> > After talking so long about the struggles in the past Obama
> > describes in the next three paragraphs his plans for the
> > future in connection with America's  today's situation. The
> > mood of the people is down. To bring back the American
>  > ambitions he reminds again of “what this country has

> already
> > done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination
> > is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.“
>  > (l.59 sqq). Indirectly Obama regrets the loss of unity

> and
> > courage.
>  >
>  > In the next two paragraphs Obama talks about current  

> > questions like regaining trust between people and
> > government. Once again the dream is used to connect past
>  > and future: The Dream still remains, but now America has

> to
>  > decide if they accept him (haben die Amis nun zu entscheiden, ob sie him/ihn, Obama also, oder it/ihn, den Traum also, akzeptieren?) and they say:”We reject as

>  > false the choice between our safety and our ideals.”

>  > (l.76). The mere Dream changed into the ideal of a whole

> > country, the reason for such a change comes along. In
> >Obamas
> > opinion the consequences “ still light the
> > world”(l.78sq). Furthermore the Dream was the reason for
> > “ drafting a charter to assure the rule of law and the
> > rights of man” (l.78 sq), exaggerating
> > Obama believes the Dream has been connected to America
>  > right from the beginning and even now. The result is to

> > believe in the Dream nowadays. America will not only
> > believe in the Dream, they are it is going to fulfill
> >their its role
> > as well as they (dann aber "it" bis zum Ende...) did in history, they´re “ ready to lead
> > once more”(l.82).At the beginning of Americas history as
>  > a state it opened her its gates for everyone. Her duty

> >was to
> du solltest dich mal für ein Pronomen entscheiden! it
> opened her gates..
>  das geht ja mal gar nicht --> es öffnete ihre Tore? it

> oder she ich würde bei it bleiben
>  
> > guide and defend their people. This leadership was the
>  > symbol of America's power and justice . Obama wants to

> > bring America back to this point. He declares the Dream´s
> > values, “ hard work and honesty, courage and fair play,
> > tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism” (l.126
> > sqq), to be the source of their success. He panders to
> > “return to these truths”(l.127 sqq).
> >
> > Obama uses the Dream in his speech to build up courage and
> > form a new “we- feeling”. Americans should be proud
> > again to live in America.

Soweit meine Anmerkungen - ohne den Anspruch auf Vollständigkeit.

Wirklich eine Menge Buchstaben in diesem Text - da bekommt man eine ungefähre Vorstellung davon, wie es ist, einen Klassensatz solcher Arbeiten zu korrigieren...

Schönen Sonntag
mmhkt

Bezug
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