Short Story < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 22:56 Mo 01.03.2010 | | Autor: | airam111 |
| Aufgabe | | Ich wäre euch so dankbar, wenn mir jemand diesen text korrekturlesen könnte. Wäre echt super =) |
I was greatly surprised when there was a knock at my door and a hooded figure stood there. At the first moment, I thought of my annoying neighbour who visits me for the umpteenth time this day. But I was wrong. The hooded figure just stared at me with the total absence of sound. Suddenly, without warning, the figure jumped on me with a dreadful scream.
When I opened my eyes I could just notice darkness around me. My face was wet and sticky and felt a terrible beating in my head. I touched at my forehead cautiously and noticed a deep wound. Suddenly I remebered the strange hooded figure. Panic was rising inside of me. I started fumbling around in the dark with my hands and feet, trying to find out where I was. I realized that I was caught in a car trunk and screamed silently. I still don’t knew who the hooded figure was, but at this moment, I just wanted to get out of the trunk. I put my feet on the ceiling of the trunk and pushed, but nothing happened. Hectically, I put my feet on the ceiling again. With all my energy, I pushed again. Suddenly, the trunk lid moved a bit. Finally, after minutes of pushing, I managed to open the lid and looked out through the opening. The car was driving on a small street through a deserted area. I took all my courage and I jumped out of the driving car. Despite of throwing my hands up, I hit my head on the ground. For the second time, I felt a terrible beating in my head. Blood was splashing aroung me. I lift my head and looked in the direction of the car. I realized that it looks similar to one that I had a terrible, for one of my friends fatal, accident with. A moment later, just before everyting got dark for the last time, I realize who the hooded figure was.
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> Ich wäre euch so dankbar, wenn mir jemand diesen text
> korrekturlesen könnte. Wäre echt super =)
> I was greatly surprised when there was a knock at my door
> and a hooded figure stood there. At the first moment, I
> thought of my annoying neighbour who visits me for the
> umpteenth time this day. But I was wrong. The hooded figure
> just stared at me with the total absence of sound.
> Suddenly, without warning, the figure jumped on me with a
> dreadful scream.
> When I opened my eyes I could just notice darkness around
> me. My face was wet and sticky and I felt a terrible beating
vlt. besser throbbing in my head?
> in my head. I touched at my forehead cautiously and noticed
I touched my forehead
> a deep wound. Suddenly I remembered the strange hooded
> figure. Panic was rising inside of me. I started fumbling
> around in the dark with my hands and feet, trying to find
> out where I was. I realized that I was caught in a car
> trunk and screamed silently. I still don’t knew who the
entweder still didn't know oder still don't know, da du aber berichtest, nimm
besser die erste Variante
> hooded figure was, but at this moment, I just wanted to get
> out of the trunk. I put my feet on the ceiling of the trunk
> and pushed, but nothing happened. Hectically, I put my feet
> on the ceiling again. With all my energy, I pushed again.
> Suddenly, the trunk lid moved a bit. Finally, after minutes
> of pushing, I managed to open the lid and looked out
> through the opening. The car was driving on a small street
> through a deserted area. I took all my courage and I jumped
> out of the driving car. Despite of throwing my hands up, I
besser In spite of throwing...
> hit my head on the ground. For the second time, I felt a
> terrible beating in my head. Blood was splashing aroung me.
around
> I lift my head and looked in the direction of the car. I
I lifted....and realized that it looked
> realized that it looks similar to one that I had a
> terrible, for one of my friends fatal, accident with. A
> moment later, just before everyting got dark for the last
> time, I realize who the hooded figure was.
...I realized... Wenn du eine Erzählung schreibst immer in der gleichen Zeitform bleiben...
Ich hoffe ich hab alles gefunden :)
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(Mitteilung) Reaktion unnötig  | | Datum: | 06:57 Di 02.03.2010 | | Autor: | airam111 |
vielen vielen dank!! :)
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