two minute talk < Korrekturlesen < Englisch < Sprachen < Vorhilfe
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(Frage) beantwortet  | | Datum: | 23:10 Mo 17.12.2007 | | Autor: | aniza |
Könnte bitte einer meinen two minute talk kontrollieren..wegen grammatik und so..wäre euch sehr dankbar...
I would like to talk about the role of success in my life and what I have to do to be successful.
At first I want to show you what successful means to my mind.
If I get good marks at school, if I complete my A-Level with a result corresponding to my personal expectations, if I find a good apprenticeship and after that an interesting job, this will mean success to me.
Besides this I think it is important to have success not only in your job or something like that, but in your private life too.
To marry a man who love me, to get children and to be happy and satisfied most of the time have a great sense for me and are a part of success.
If you are able to think in the future: I would not like to change anything what I have done or make any things better in my life. this is a sign that you have been successful and that you have taken importnt chances.
Success plays a big role in my life, because I am a who is often not satisfied with own performances or with present situations and I want to change things to reach my goals.
If you want to be successful you have to change things and fight for your goals.
The first step to be successful in the future was the decision to make my A-Level.
In my opinion I believe that I have better chances in the future to have success with the A-Level. At the moment I write applications to get an apprenticeship and to be successful. But in my opinion success in the job is not the most important aspect, your later job should be interesting and you should enjoy your work, because usually you work in this job the rest of your life.
To be successful at school I work everyday, I make my homework and prepare for the next day.
In coclusion I would like to say that should be ready to change parts of your life to reach your goals and to be successful.
The most important thing is that you have your goals and plans and know what you have to do and not do sabotaging yourself in this way that you think that you can not change anything.
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Einige Verbesserungsvorschläge:
First, I would like to tell you about what success means to me.
Besides that, I think it is important to be successful not only in my job but in my private life as well.
To get married to a man that loves me, to have children and to feel happy most of the time means a lot to me and will probably be part of my success in future.
... I am someone who often is not satisfied with the own performances.
If I want to be successful I need to change things and fight for my goals.
... to go for the A-level (in what ??, needs to be specified !!)
I believe that I will have better chances in the future having the A-level.
I write applications for an apprenticeship ...
I would like to conclude saying ...
Das sind nur ein paar Vorschläge. Mir läuft leider die Zeit davon und ich muss Schluss machen. Noch ein Tip: du solltest sämtliche Sätze auf dich beziehen und nicht auf you .... umschwenken. Rede von dir und nicht was für andere gut wäre.
Good luck !!
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